Verdict:
Armour of God is one of the silliest movies I ever had to pleasure of watching. Where else will you see machine-gun-wielding monks, cartoonish representations of natives and Chinese people in tight 70s suits with 80s hair and eyes wide open, pretending not to be Asian?
Early in the movie there is a shootout scene, and it is an absolutely amazing piece of work. A bunch of monks gun down countless people, while a cheesy 80s pop song is being performed in the background, and they do the killing in a choreographed manner, almost to the beat of the song. You have to see it to believe it. All of that violence is only to kidnap someone in order to make the main character carry out a task for them, something they could’ve simply paid for, because the main character works for hire. This plot is bonkers. And this goofy light-heartedness is how the whole story is treated.
Of course, many people watch Jacky Chan films for the acrobatics and yes, the fight choreography as well as various driving stunts are what you would expect. There are countless memorable stunts, like the hot-air balloon jump and the chase with the bikes. Chan almost died during one of the stunts. This film is a valuable historical showcase of amazing stunt work.
But the thing that makes this Asian Indiana Jones movie special is its style, its peculiar flavour. The main female lead, played by Lola Forner, is very pretty, possibly the prettiest actress I have seen on film (except for Catherine Zeta-Jones of course. I love you, call me). I know I’m supposed to comment on her acting ability instead and not be such a pig. I don’t care. The whole movie is dubbed anyway. Then there is the car Jacky Chan drives, which looks cool and has James Bond style gadgets. There are the aforementioned gun-toting monks against the background of Eastern European filming locations. The characters travel to many different places and it is fun to be part of their adventure as the viewer. Finally, there are a couple of good cheesy 80s songs (you have to get the right version of the film, as there are several versions of the credits song).
All of these parts combine with the silly overacting and violence to make a pretty stylish and memorable movie for kids, which is why it has taken a special place in many young men’s hearts, at least in Eastern Europe. Think about it, the makers are almost going down a checklist for boys: a hot chick, a fast car, violence, adventure, jumping around and silly acting with slapstick.
The dialogue is quite dreadful. Of course, there is always a possibility that the subtitles are just bad and that the dialogue works better in Cantonese, which is the original language of the movie, but I doubt it because the writing is just too shallow and the acting that accompanies it is just too silly and physical.
As for the acting itself… Jacky Chan tries, but fails. Alan Tam, who plays a singer, and is a singer in real life, is a much better actor in this. He overacts, but at least it works, and it is to him that we owe the catchy cheesy tunes in this movie.
There are also multiple versions of this film floating around, which makes reviewing and recommending it much more complicated. These versions can be quite different. You don’t want the later Miramax version. You want the one with the catchy “High upon High” end credits song. I feel like I love this movie for all the wrong reasons, but I still love it nonetheless. It is recommended for anyone who likes goofy action movies. A poor script, Jackie Chan’s injury and the presence of different versions of the film make Armour of God seem like some artist’s unfinished and damaged work, but it’s still worth watching for what is there.