Verdict:
This movie has some good-looking action. The design of the characters and various man-toys are great. The action is fast-paced and well-choreographed but knows when to slow down for a breath of air. The action is underground, on the ground, in the sky and underwater. If good action is what you are looking for, then this movie delivers. If you are looking for deep story or intelligent acting then you are weird because this is G.I Joe. Have you see the cartoons? One person I know went to see this movie because they wanted to see Channing Tatum without his shirt on. That may be the right attitude.
The aesthetic is clean, crisp and shiny. It’s not going to surprise you that the action is very CGI heavy, and often looks like a game. The CGI models look stiff and blurry, but not the worst I’ve seen. There is a large number of CGI cars that are just normal civilian cars. They move stiffly, and it seems like it would’ve been cheaper to just rent or find a few real cars than to create all these fake cars on a computer. Unfortunately, being so CGI heavy, Rise of Cobra will look continuously worse with every day going by.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s sells the menacing Cobra Commander, despite having most of his face covered. Tatum is boring as our main guy, but delivers his basic level of charm. There are many other famous actors who are too good for this film, who show up for the purpose of you saying, “Hey, that guy is in it!”.
Being a toy-based film, it features a bunch of types of vehicles and weapons, so it satisfies the main requirement of G.I. Joe.
Everything else is weak. The pacing is all over the place, the character development feels forced, the story is made of wet cardboard and its twists are unnatural and pointless. This film is meant to be watched on an airplane or on a couch at 2AM in the morning, while doubting your life choices.